Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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