Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
