Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize