Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
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He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize