In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My vagina just recognized that song.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
