My cat gives me a boner
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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