I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
