What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man