ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship