Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor