Sponge bath it is.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.