he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
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the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
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He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.