Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies