I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
