my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
