I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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