i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
