and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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