Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
there was a trapeze. enough said
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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