so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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