I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
