I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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