marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
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