Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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