Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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