Just fell off a train. Bad.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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