i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize