that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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