She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
