yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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