do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
