I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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