we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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