We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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