We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
