the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
