i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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