I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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