dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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