My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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