Someone shit on the floor
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
