He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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