So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
