he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
