I just threw up on my dentist
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Randomize
