It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
