She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
