morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
