Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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