Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
