the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
