did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
