I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
