I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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