Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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