on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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