I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Let's paint friendship bongs
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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