everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
