he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
