The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
