i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Where did you get a picture of my penis
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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