call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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