he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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