Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
