sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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