how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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