pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize