so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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