from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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