sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
