I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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