I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
only if we run a train.
done.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
