The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have post one night stand depression
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
