k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
